As Christian counselors and pastors, guiding couples on their journey of love and faith is a divine calling. With Valentine’s Day approaching, let’s explore 15 meaningful ways for Christian couples to enrich their relationships. We’ve done 10 tips to improve your marriage before and even shared some Christian curriculums to enhance your relationship that you can check out, but it’s time to revisit this topic.
Before we jump into this list, I want to also make the caveat that these are not benchmarks for your relationship, but more like relationship goals. If you are not expressing gratitude at every success your spouse has, you haven’t failed. Instead, you have something to strive for moving forward. I myself can improve on several of these.
Finally, this is a post of enrichment for your marriage or relationship. If you are at a place of severe hurt, needing safety due to a domestically violent relationship, or one of the two in the relationship is not in a place to do this (illness, incarceration, etc), know that this will look different for you. Take the spirit of the article below and make it work for your life. Sometimes that means time and space or healthy boundaries and you are not in a season of enrichment.
- Pray Together: Start and end your day in prayer, inviting God into your relationship. Shared prayer is an important practice with anyone, including one you have committed your life to.
- Weekly Devotionals: Set aside time for joint devotionals, deepening your spiritual connection. Scripture uses an analogy in 2 Corinthians 6 of marriage being as if you are “yoked” together and so you want to make sure spiritually you are on growing together.
- Communication: Foster open and honest communication, emphasizing understanding and empathy. Bitterness, shame, and jealousy come out of secrets, backbiting, and stonewalling each other. Even when it is not fun conversations, talk. Need some ideas? We have 25 conversation starters here.
- Quality Time: Prioritize uninterrupted quality time, whether it’s a date night or a cozy evening at home. Some of this plays into love languages together in what you do in quality time, so make it meaningful and not something to become stale.
- Reflect on Growth: Regularly reflect on your individual and collective spiritual growth. Express value in each other and recognize changes in your spouse. Being seen is one of the greatest expressions of love.
- Express Gratitude: Cultivate a habit of expressing gratitude for each other’s strengths and virtues. We are commanded by Scripture to do so for others (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, Colossians 2:6-7), why would we not also do so for the one we are closest to.
- Acts of Service: Serve one another selflessly, mirroring Christ’s love through actions. This is within the love language of acts of service, but this also should be in the giving of one’s self just as Christ did for us as well. And do so with humility.
- Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate relationship milestones, big or small. And push for them to strive for the next milestone as their biggest cheerleader and advocate.
- Forgiveness: Practice forgiveness, mirroring Christ’s unconditional love and grace. In the small, petty things. In the “I can’t even” things. We even have an article on the research about marriage and mercy here.
- Explore Shared Interests: Discover and pursue hobbies or activities that you both enjoy. If you don’t know what they are, we actually have an article with assessments that help identify these shared interests.
- Community Involvement: Volunteer or engage in community service together, spreading love beyond your relationship.
- Attend Workshops or Retreats: Invest in relationship-building workshops or retreats to strengthen your foundation. This getaway time can be refreshing for the soul and for your relationship.
- Counseling Check-ins: Regularly check in with a Christian counselor to navigate challenges and promote growth. You do not have to be hurting to benefit from counseling, it can be a time of taking your marriage to a new level with an expert outside view.
- Surprise Gestures: Infuse spontaneity into your relationship with surprise gestures that reflect your love. Breakfast, flowers, a weekend getaway, or a simple but powerful love note.
- Celebrate Love Year-round: Extend the spirit of Valentine’s Day throughout the year, making love a continuous celebration.
Incorporating these elements into your relationship, rooted in Christian values, will not only strengthen the bond between you and your partner but also deepen your spiritual connection. As Christian counselors and pastors, let us guide these couples in nurturing a love that reflects the divine love they share in their faith.