For those who may struggle with their relationship with their significant other, whether married, engaged, or dating, loving them can sometimes be a bit difficult. The reasons can be many, money, sex, parenting, and hobbies tend to be the highest identified reasons.

But the Gottman Institute, a research-based relationship model, talks about how none of these things are actually causing conflict. In fact, conflict doesn’t have to mean you love your spouse less.

So what is the biggest reason? They say it’s all about how you invest in your relationship and if you are fighting, you haven’t been investing in your relationship.

They created a term called The Emotional Bank that is a concept for understanding how to invest in your relationship. Below is a video and here is an article that fully details it.


What ways do you see yourself investing regularly in small ways for your spouse?

Published by Jeremy Smith

Jeremy is the Co-Occurring Program Coordinator and a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor at a community mental health center. Jeremy has a history of working as a ministry director for Youth for Christ for 8 years and then working as a mental health and substance use adult counselor in Colorado and Ohio, specifically running an Opioid Residential Treatment Center.

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