Marriage in this day and age feels very subjective. For people who do not have a Christian background, it may be something you do because it’s what your parents want, it’s a tax write off, you do it because you are pregnant, or because you have fallen in love. Within the context of a Christian worldview, why do we get married? What does a Godly marriage look like?
If you use a website like theknot.com, a website dedicated to helping someone create the best wedding day ever, you may be confused by what is presented as marriage. You get out-of-context Scripture that miss the point of the passage.
For example, they share Colossians 3:14 which says
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (NIV)
A great verse on love, but the context of that passage actually is about how Jesus’ death and grace is for everyone, not a topic specifically of marriage. Could you said we should have a love that binds in our marriage? Yes. Does that mean we can twist this verse to our purpose? That’s a slippery bad hermeneutical slope where we make the Bible say what we want it to say.
What Is Godly Marriage?
John Piper, on his personal site, gives a definition of what Godly, Christian marriage that I believe to be whole:
God designed marriage as a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman for their mutual joy, the good of society, and the procreation of children. Marriage ultimately displays the glory and grace of God by picturing the unbreakable relationship between Christ and his church.
Whether you like or dislike Piper, set that aside. Notice this defimition. This definition is counter cultural, but towards the purpose God has designed us. Everything Jesus did while on this Earth was to point to God. This marriage we seek should represent this mission.
The paragraph above from theknot.com shares a marriage about the two people getting married. The site is literally designed to make the dreams of those two people come alive. But a Godly marriage is actually about God dream.
- When we fight, people see it. So fight well in your marriage.
- When you hurt, people see it. So hurt well in your marriage.
- When you love, people see it. So love well in your marriage.
Yes, we are broken people, but we are also people who are redeemed in God through Jesus and therefore can show this in one of the most important relationships we can have, with our spouse.
What About When Marriage Is Tough?
As a counselor, I see marriage and relationships when they are broken, but wanting to mend them. We needed to define what a Godly marriage is in order to know where we are headed towards.
Now we can talk about broken marriages or how to enrich marriages for people who want to do more, better. We will talk about several of these moving forward. But know this is the target we are wanting to hit.
What thoughts do you have on Godly marriage?