In a conversation about marriage, the topic of sex has to come up at some point. The top three things people are cited in having problems are sex, money, and improving conversations. It would make sense to need to talk about sex at some point from a clinical standpoint. But for the modern-day Church in a world where the internet in all its wonder but lack of filters around sex and pornography is immediately available 24 hours a day, we have made it taboo. So, can we write about sex? If so, how far is too far?
But it was like this before the internet too.
The fact of the matter is that Song of Solomon is a whole book of the Bible, yet too many times the Church has divorced itself from the book in one way or another. Matthew Henry, a noted theologian in the 17th century literally put in his introductory commentary the following:
and therefore the Jewish doctors advised their young people not to read it till they were thirty years old, lest by the abuse of that which is most pure and sacred the flames of lust should be kindled with fire from heaven, which is intended for the altar only.
Undoubtedly this is the concern with writing on the topic for anyone casually studying the Bible. But in the American church, it has gone much deeper.
Why Don’t Pastors Preach On Song of Solomon From The Pulpit?
This question will make for a great Professionals Ask article in the future. I want to propose two ideas of thoughts and then I will leave it for the pastors to answer it later. First, I think that sex is seen as a dirty word and many of the verbs and nouns in Song of Solomon reflect a sexual nature. We hide what we do not know. This is our first failure.
Secondly and the more thought out possibility, I think that we are uneducated about Song of Solomon. The book reads like poetry, because it is. Because of this, Jewish and Christian scholars often took an allegorical view of the book. Jews claimed that the bride represents Israel, and the bridegroom represents Yahweh. Early Christians claim the poem is about the love of Christ for His Church. But what if it could be a poem and actually talk practically about relationships, marriage, and sex?
I think that sex is seen as a dirty word and many of the verbs and nouns in Song of Solomon reflect a sexual nature. We hide what we do not know. This is our first failure.Think about the last love know you wrote. You were not writing about breasts being like towers as they stated in the Bible, but I bet you wrote a love letter or text message that complimented the person on the beauty of their hair, eyes or smile. Pop and country songs are full of them. They are poems, but they are also practical love messages. This does not take away from how we need to look at a marriage as an allegory for the bride of Christ being the Church and Jesus.
We Will Talk About Sex
So we are going to take all that has been said into account and make the decision of, yes, writing on the topic of sex. We do have two specific caviates to this. First, we will not write from a place of perversion, but we will not shy away from topics either. This will require us to talk about human anatomy, concerns within the Church on the topic of sex, and the professionalism that is directly discussed in the counseling room.
Secondly, we recognize this is a place of concern for many people and will require civility on the topic or comments will be closed. People have strong opinions on this topic, many times from a place of fear, ignorance, hatred, or arrogance. Be Christ-like.
This is a tough topic, but we plan to honor God in our conversation. What questions, concerns, and areas of topic do you want to see being discussed?